Thing You Don’t Wanna Hear In Surgery
by Alucard on Sep.24, 2008, under Free Jokes, News
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(3 votes, average: 3.33 out of 5)
Loading ...“Don’t worry. I think it is sharp enough.”
“Nurse, did this patient sign the organs donation card?”
“Damn! Page 84 of the manual is missing!”
“Everybody stand back! I lost a contact lens!”
“Hand me that…uh…that uh…..thingie”
“Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.”
“Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness”"
“Whoa, wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?”
“Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys. Hell, he’s got two of’em”
What do you mean “You want a divorce?”
“Ooo! I’ve never seen that before.”
“Let’s hope this is third time lucky.”
“They say if I don’t get it now I never will.”
“What do you mean the anesthetic’s run out?”
“That’s a lovely wife you’ve got.” *sinister smile*
“What am i suppose to do again?”
“Lunch Time!”
“i hope i can stay awake for 4 hours of this shit”
“May god have mercy on his soul”
“Oops! i drop something.. i’m going in”
“oops!”
“no im trying it with my left hand today”
“what do you mean im fired!?”
“Coronation street is on now!?”
“what do you mean its on backwards?”
“What is that organ?”
“i wish i was more experience”
“i don’t feel so well today”
“lets have a little experiment shall we? ”
“you are my “lucky” first patient ”
“hang on.. phone call ”
“somebody take over for a min.. must make pee pee ”
“Oh shit.. power failure!”
“God is not here today ”
“i have no idea why i am doing this ”
“I’m bored. Shall we spice things up a bit?”
“What do mean his insurance won’t cover it!?”
“Hang on…. If the transplant heart is still here then what did we just put inside there?”
“You know in certain tribes, the <insert name of body part> is considered quite a delicacy.”
“i wonder wat human meat taste like *grin* ”
“aww crap.. sumthing dropped out ”
“i’m not wearing my new specs hope u dont mind ”
“*pulls chainsaw* Seen texas chainsaw massarce yet? ”
“Lets cut this sucker open ”
“*sneeze!!*.. that went in didn’t it. . .”
“lets make him a women ”
“Don’t worry if you die, It may even be a saviour for you.”
“Woah cool, Is it alright if I take a picture of this?”
“I’ve never worked on one of THESE before!”
“Looks like my times up, let’s bring the new kid over.”
“I think someone put viagra in my coffee…”
“Seriously, there’s a great Heart market at the moment, you SURE you want yours?”
“I’m new to this whole line of work, I’ve only been trained as a foot doctor.”
“wheres the knife?” “I forgot to took it out”
“what do you mean this is not the mens room?”
“no… i am not a doctor… whats it to you?”
“good news sir, we’ll have you castrated in no time! oh, hes here for a brain cancer? even better news sir, we threw in a free castration!”
“this is red… i specifically requested green!”
“oh no spaghettio’s!”
“ok, hes out cold, now lets have some fun!!!”
“Scissors, scalpel….Magic Wand.”
“It’s a boy! And what a boy it is!…”Nurse: “Doctor…that’s the umbilical cord.”
“Woah that’s a lot of blood…clean up on aisle 5!”
“This is just like episode 5 of season 3 on E.R.!”
“We are kinda short on painkillers so this might hurt just a tad bit…”
“DAMN! Ran out of sticky tape ”
“Where did my scaple go?”
“This isn’t like last time..”
“Oh damn, is this my 1oclock? I thought it was my 2oclock!”
“I never knew you had that much blood in your body… ”
“Go Long!!!… ”
“Do you need your liver?”
“Nurse, stop playing around and pick that organ thingie off the ground”
“Let’s see just how long your intestines are …Jumper cables…socket wrench…blow torch… ”
“How much is a whatchamacalit-liter?”
“How do you put in an I.V.?”
“Is blood supposed to come out of that?”
“Oh yeah! Wanna make something of it…”
“Has anybody seen my ham and swiss on rye?”
“Doctor, is it bad to be bleeding out of your eyes?”
“What is that green stuff?”
“Hey! Look what happens when I squish it!”
“What’s it mean when the little green line goes flat?”
“You want me to touch it?”
“Mmmmmmmm! Tastes like chicken!”
“It doesn’t matter if it’s blunt, i’ll use it!”
“Hang on, Wheres my watch?”
“Whats my wedding ring doing in there?”
“Docter, i don’t recall the last patient having that there”
Docter 1: “This womens very pretty” Docter 2: “Oh not any more, and thats a he
“opps”
“I was never taught this in school but I’ll give it a try”
“errm… is blood meant to come out that fast?”
“Ok hes all sewed up…oh shit wheres my watch.”
“i’ll show doctor richard whos better when i do this heart transplant in under 5 minutes.”
FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out now!!
Okay, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
And now we remove the subject’s brain and place it in the body of the ape.
Darn, there go the lights again…
Someone call the janitor – we’re going to need a mop.
That’s cool! now can you make his leg twitch?!
“He won’t mind if we take this.”
“That was fun. Let’s do it again!”
“Goo goo gaa gaa?”
“I give up.”
Bo! Bo! Comeback with that! Bad Dog!
Could you stop that thing from beating; it’s throwing my concentration off.
I hate it when they’re missing stuff in here.
What do mean he wasn’t in for a sex change…!
This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
I don’t know where that came from! Just put it over there.
I don’t think that was supposed to come off.
Well, it’s five o’clock! We’ll just put this off till tomorrow.
Hey….maybe the janitor knows what this is.
Cool! These colors are giving me flashbacks.
“Someone please notify his next of kin ”
“if this bleeding dont stop than err.. i dunno wat to do tbh”
“who mama there? ”
“okay guys lets pack up.. party time!”
“AMEN ”
“DUH! ”
“i dunno abt you guys but… heh.. i’m horny!”
“i just watch slience of the lambs.. i wanna try it too! ”
“sum ting wong dum gai? ”
“cocaine is a hell of a drug ”
“we should add sumthing in there *GRIN* ”
“lets pack up.. waste the dude ”
“you do know that u’re not gonna make it aight? ”
“ever had a blowjob during surgery? ”
“WooHoo!! i did my first surgical Cut!! ”
“what did a knife say to a penis?………. OUCH! ”
“i’mma try sumthing new today.. i’ll do it onli with my hand ”
“is he drugged with sleeping aids?……(no..)… Gd keep it that way… ”
“hey i rmb u.. ur the fucker thats having sex with my wife! ”
“can i hav ur phone number?.. i need to re-schedule this surgery ”
“drill… (drill)… buffer…(buffer)… super glue (super glue).. pipe… (pipe)
“i hate to tell u this.. sumthing went wrong ”
“i’m so depress.. my wife left mi.. my kids hate mi.. my parents are dead.. GOD I HATE U!!”
Don’t tell me you forgot to bring the anatomy book!
You fool! You got the arms and legs switched.
Ah, well.. I never really did like this guy too much…
That was some party last night.
Well this book doesn’t say that… What edition is your manual?
“the hip bones connected to the… uhh… help me out here guys!”
“if theres one thing i learnt in law school… its that you dont need to go to something something… for you to something something… to have great sex!
“are thoes… barbie doll heads?!”
“is there a doctor in the house?”
“so i went down to the sperm bank and shouted: what do u mean i cant make a widthdrawal?!”
“let mi tell u guys a spoiler… ” his gonna die alone ” ”
“shit.. i just injected him with posion ”
“i had so much coffee just now.. my hands can’t stop trembling ”
“i used to work as a dentist.. bare with mi ”
“is this his spine or his ribs?.. hell i’ll swap em both ”
“I bet I can do this operation blindfolded with one arm tied behind my back.”
“You mean he came in for a penis enlargement and NOT a breast enlargement?”
“Hehe! This is just like Operation!”
“The world would be a better place without him ”
“FLATLINE! just kidding heh ”
“Do you guys know if this has ever gone correct “?.
“What do u mean we cant take body parts? ”
“The elbows connected to the … wait i forgot ..”
“He didnt need that part anyways..”
“Thats one less bone!!”
“Woops wrong patient!”
If that makes his head move. Then WHAT DOES THIS DO!
Shit, I’ve cut myself and I’ve got AIDS!
To boldly go were no-one has ever gone before . . .
WHOAH! Hey, Nurse! Watch where that thing lands, we’re probably gonna need it later
Nurse, was this a male or a female patient?
“I’m only a veterinarian so I hope your anatomy resembles that of a dog.”
“Finally my first surgery…Just got my doctors licence after taking the test for the 15th time.”
“Damn my glasses broke guess ill just have to do it without them.”
*During brain surgery* “I wonder what will happen if I take out his cerebellum!”
“Hmmm… Just like carving the turkey at Christmas.”
“Hahaahahahahahhahahahahaaaa hhhaaaahh ahahahaa!”
“I never liked you back in high school.”
“We are the cheeky girls, We are the cheeky girls.”
“You remember that scene from Alien?”
It is now out of my hands . . . Nurse, could you grab it? It’s over there behind the keg
I’d feel alot better about this if the dotted lines were pre-drawn like back at night school.
Hand me the saw someone!
Did he say the right or left leg?
What’s this, you say? His heart? Or his liver?
Sure I don’t know what I’m doing. I came her to wash the windows and somebody puts a mask on my face and a knife in my hand.
What’s that red stuff gushing out?
This wouldn’t have happened if you had just laid him on his BACK for starters!
If I can just remember how they did this on ER last week.
“GaME OvER MaN ,GaME OvER!! ”
“prepare to meet god ”
“Holy mother of Chirst! wat is that!! ”
“Hi.. i’m Doctor Dolittle ”
“lets see if he can survive without kidneys ”
“lets swap his brains with a monkey ”
“Congrats! ur baby is dead! ”
“i wonder wat would happen if i remove this.. and this.. and that.. oh.. those two.. ”
“lets do a animal transplant like wat they do in “The Animal” ”
“lets give him both sexual organs ”
“lets make him a Porn STAR! ”
“I think he needs that…?”
“He said NOSE not PENIS.”
“Is a heart supposed to go in the penis?”
“Ugh… I don’t feel so goo…ugghhh…BWAAAAAHHH*barf*.”
Did the doctor know he would look like that afterwards?
Hey Charlie, unzip the bag on that one, he’s still moving.
“This video game has great blood effects!”
“Whoever said high school dropouts can’t do heart transplants?! (Doctor, this is a tonsil removal.) Oh…”*runs like hell*
“The bacteria are in his penis but will spread out soon…we’re going to have to amputate it.”
“Damnit now im down to one kidney from all that drinking…Oh wow his kidneys look like he hasnt had a drink in his life” *evil grin*
“”slice open the patient”…… Fuk This.. i’m outta here”puke” ”
“say what?.. he haven’t paid fully yet?.. Oh hell no.. i wont go on till he pays mi first ”
“i’ve nv open up patients with so much fats than his.. its already 3inches and i’ve barely see an organ”
“calm down man.. calm down.. I SAID CALM DOWN!!..”
“Spike!! get that thing back in! its not a chew toy! Bad dog! ”
“Hello~ Clarice~ ”
“its so red in there.. lets add some colours! ”
“wait.. his blood type is AB.. and this bag here says B+… hell its still blood no worries”
“U know.. when he came in.. all he needed was a good stitch.. now.. he looks like he needs a doctor”
“Huston.. i think i made a boo boo ”
“we ran out of stitches… guess we hav to use the alternative.. DUCK TAPE!”
“He’s so healthy that i wanna make him sick ”
“shit.. i got my hand stuck in him.. help ”
“heh.. wanna hear a joke? ”
“he dont need no doctor.. he needs a priest ”
“lets be frank.. timmy… ur name is timmy right? ”
“someone get mi some ice!!.. I SAID ICE! NOT RICE!! ”
“HUka JaKA HukA JaKa!! WO-o-o-o-o-o-o-0! ”
“hmmm my car won’t stop weezing…and since when did it have one of THOSE?? (points to patients limb) I don’t think I’m in the wrong room”
“Ma’am your babies fine and healthy” (patients responds) “umm doc, I’m a guy” (docotor slowly replies) “you are now….”
I never knew you had that much blood in your body…
Go Long!!!…
Mmmmmmmm! Tastes like chicken!
Hey! Look what happens when I squish it!
Has anybody seen my ham and swiss on rye?
“To do it.. or not to do it.. that is the question :angel_hyp ”
“OH hi!.. rmb mi?.. i’m the guy who caused all this ”
“what does the word “amputate” mean ? ”
“you know u look like my ex wife… onli she got more hair ”
“i just realised we placed his ass facing the other way round… ”
“….But I am not a doctor”
Doctor, “hmmmm riskiest operation of my life and me without my contacts”
Doctor, “Whats swollen and plain not lucky to be born?” Patient, “?” *Doctor *grins*
“Just because I think I’m a doctor, doesn’t make me a doctor… These clothes do.”
“Hachoo!! …Shit..!”
“Oops… My gum fell out…”
“Hand me that supersharp knife… Im pretty sure this is what I need…”
“i’m afraid after this surgery.. his family wont recognize him ”
“Merde~~~~ ”
“Here’s johnny!! ”
“i think we can put him in the morgue ..seriously ”
“Nurse plz.. stop playing with his balls.. u can do it when u get his phone no. ”
“Ever made love to a man?..{patient..no**….. u wan to?..”
“u know the top 10 worst jobs in the world.. this is it! ”
“dang…………… i think i shit in ma pants! ”
“he shall nv be normal *grin* ”
“u wont feel pain.. i promise.. just tons of agony ”
“do i really need to wash my hands”
“ow…..that wasn’t soap?”
“common people thats not funny give my glasses back”
‘WHAT!? its bigger then mine…well now then we just have to change that eh?”
“uhm……what would u say if i exendentily dropped a tigernut in it”
“hmmm nothing tastes better then a bottle of brandy before going to surgery”
“what do you mean with alcahol cant be used as a painkiller”
“dont worry i got an “E” for my exam
“woow look at that bird its so pretty, oops”
“huh i didn’t even know that there vains in that spot”
“oh ooh my alterego is taking over”
“now i get it is just like a jigsaw”
“*sigh* someone pls switch that beeping thing with the green line off”
“wow i can make music with it”
“heeeh thats not fair sheeps dont have that thingy”
“i’m bored lets play hide and seek”
“i couldn’t find the scapel so i just took the bread knife”
“i’m sure i replaced the batteries”
“oh so he didnt want to have cup D,well thats a pitty”
“lets play darts”
“ow so this isn’t a pen but a scapel,…hehe pretty funny eh guys”
“ofcourse we can have sex during surgery”
“do you mind i have cold,tsss wussy bitching aobut an infection”
“damn my plane leaves in 10 minutes, aah i dont think he needs that”
“Hoe Hoe Hoe! ur gonna die!”
“merry chirstmas faggot.. thx to u i’m still working ”
“lets give him “jingle bells” ”
“shut ur fucking face uncle fucker! ”
“lets sing.. his mum is a stupid bitch in D minor ”
ok We’re Outa Sitch Threads, Any1’s Socks have Strong strings ?
Opps i Injected With the Wrong One !
10pm, Ok Guys We’ll Put him in the freezer and Continue Tomorrow
Wow, I Never Operated On a Girl as Pretty As Her Before >=) *STRIP*
bougala bougala BOUGALA
now remember carl this isnt a dummy so if you take out the wrong organ you cant just put it back
*moans* oh doctor its so big
look if i pull this thingy he blinks
so this isnt surgery room 2
its so hot in here lets do the surgery outside
“Why is there a tag on his toe?”
“Do you think he can hear us?”
“I didn’t even know a human could bend that way.”
“I’m sorry, we must not have used enough anesthesia. Just relax now. We’ll be done in a jiffy.”
“Hold the patient still, we’ve almost pried it open.”
“You seen the movie Cannibal Holocaust?”
“You seen the movie Silence of the Lambs?”
“My real name’s Hannibal Lecter.”
“Dammit! Nurse! Get this dog to quit humping my leg!”
“doctor… we need a doctor!!”
“lets hope he wakes up after this ”
“ya know.. i was incharge of many surgery death related cases ”
“Happy new year.. but.. u dun look too happy ”
“so u were that white kid that’s going running around shouting ‘we are all gonna die’ in the middle of the road during the eve of new yr i heard? ”
“Chong chi fa Choi .. me dun speak inglich.. u wan mi cut u open? okie okie ”
Cut a hole there…i fogotten to bring my ashtray
Hi mum….i found the liver u wanted….
Whr’s Dick?
I hate doing this…lets skip it and see wat happens…
320.Bring in the beers…we will need it…its going to be a long nite….
“i need to tell u that.. i was screwing ur wife that night.. and also the person who run u over with that car.. so now i’m the guy who’s gonna end ur life in this room.. just so u know”
“u are one horny bastard.. who in the hell would hav an erection in the middle of an operation?!”
“i hate drunks like him.. what kind of a ignorant nigga would force his dick into the bottle.. ”
“Hey where did my pie go!!!”
“this isnt as easy as setting up a gameserver..”
“ooo look a trail of ant’s they seem to like your body sir”
“this is a test paintent right? umm uhoh ‘grins’ ”
“STFU U STUPID N00B STOP SCREAMING STUPID NEWBIE”
“check this out guyz i can juggle his balls”
“i wonder if u can pull the brain out of your nose ”
“Oi Spot (dog) That Aint No Bone Oh Wait It Is eep”
“Hey Lets Play Blind Doctor Ok Where Is The BlindFold ??”
“lets just stuff him with pills and see wat the outcome is”
“lets get him pumped where is the adrenaline rush?”
“here’s your medicine F*** dude you just drank pee =|”
“Did you order the 100 boxes of painkillers?He needs em’ all”
What do you mean i did it wrong?
Maybe i should go to college before i try this…
He’ll still be able to walk like that? Right?
shuld the knife cut in here?or to the left?
Hmm, why is this still out of his body?.. Bin it, i don’t think its that important
Where’s his other arm gone?!
Should i cut the red or the blue wire?
I hope this kid didnt know how to play piano in the first place
Its ALIVE!
Dangerous is my middle name
crap how do i do this again?
Heya, could you tell me how to do that thingy again..?
“What do you mean your breaking up with me,your taking the car and the kids?!”
“I’m Going to kill myself and im talking you with me.”
“Hmmm… what will happen if i do …. lets say.. this ?”
“Houston we’re going in.”
“Neo, there is no stomache.”
“Hey, this is looking pretty interesting. I wonder what it will do if it cut it through its middle.”
“Whoops, dropped the Laugh gas Container.shit! it popped open!”
“Let’s cut his nipples*evil smile*”
“Oh my gosh, that paintent had mexican food?!”
“I allways wanted to know what would happen if i stab the female’s chest.”
“Let’s replace his penis with 2 meatballs and see if a spagethi grows between them”
“What do you mean my girl was raped?!”
“Dr., ill give you ten bucks if you leave those forcep in there”
Doctor: hey You Are who owes me 200 bucks and said me go hell… wah lets see if i can find it from his stomach
That’s interesting…
Doctor: Lets make him cocaine mule
Doc: nurse quick tell me which vane to cut the red one or the blue one ; Nurse: the red one ; Doc: THEY ARE ALL RED!!!
nurse: it kepps falling of ;Doctor:use some tape then
“Hey everybody…” XD
Isn’t this the guy who had sex with my mum?
NO! I said no experiments today!
ops , the heart have stop pumping!!
Doc! give me the 500 bucks or i kill you and your patient!
what! my wife needs blood but there are no donors?
I….I am falling….zzzz… asleeeheeeep…*splash*
his life is safe for the next 30 minutes. catherina, lets have a quicky
this patient is famous? hmm…I might get on the news if he dies in this room.
*smokes weed* Want some?
I wasn’t expecting that…
Is it normal that the patient is shitting his internal organs?
“Now lets attach this, and that too. And then le….. Oh sh*t….. Ctrl+z, Ctrl+z…
Nerse wait just a bit, i almost done reading my “Operations For dummies” Book.
Aha…
Doctor 1:Full house…
Doctor 2: Damn……..Dont u think we were here for sometihng else rather playing cards?
These Nuts Can Raise The Titanic
I’m Taking A few Nude Shots Incase u decide not to pay up
hey u mind holding onto my dick during the entire operation? i’ll give u a discount =D
i hav something bad to tell u.. but it seems like its just too late for that
-sings-*dun Worri~ Abt A thing~~ Cuz Every Little ThInG Is GonnA Be Alright~*
Ah~ChOOo!! aww that went in . . .
“Hmmm, What is that Big Red Pumping thing? Nurse: Dont know Doc, cut it and see”
Ctrl+alt+del del del del del!!!!
“Ok, Count back to from 120834723876492834623452345″
“Lets make this transplant quick, I have a instance on in 3min”
“Is it the red wire or the blue?”
“LFG”
“Your leg bones connected to your knee bone, Your knee bones connected to your thigh bone, your thigh bones connected to your……other bone…. you other bones connected to that other thing…”
*zip*…..
“I No Speaka Da Inglish”
“No nO.. . *hic* im C0mpl3telY S0b3r”
To be honest I’d just be worried if I wasn’t asleep during surgery O_O
im afraid youll need a supository
“I’m feeling very stressed lately”
“When will i ever succeed?”
“Hands up! All of you! This is a robbery!”
“Nurse, do we have spare parts?”
“My girlfriend ditched me…”(Weeps)
“I’ve got sweaty palms”
“This sux”
“I’m feeling kinda dizzy”
“Hurry! We’re losing him!”
“ahhh! I’m scared of blood!”
“Nurse, what do you suggest we do now?”
“Doctor! Quit fooling around will ya?”
“Hi I’m Dr Bean”
“This knife is kinda rusty”
“Damn! Expired vaccine!”
“arhh.. Hand Numb! Hand Numb!”
“This patient is famous….i wonder how much we’ll get for his heart”
“Nurse, GImme red bull, my hands are shaking”
Anyone got a diagram cause this thing just won’t connect o_0
he look like hot sex ya know.. sexy man sexy man.. i can do wat a sexy man can ( fat bastard )
Doc: Hmm, i don’t remember taking this out…
Nurse: Thats the Staffrooms Microwave.
“Ahh,Hand Cramp!”
“who the fuck put the G-clamp in him ”
“ji had! ”
“baka baka baka!! ”
“one thing can be said, and one thing onli.. his fuk’d ”
“what in the world is up with his organs.. its outta this world! ”
“Oooo. wat that do?. *poke organ*.. AHH. it bleeds! ”
“wat the difference between a stomach and a liver? ”
“okay.. if i was him.. i’ll be shit pissing right now.. ”
“i’m new! i’m New! i dunno wat to do!! ”
“Josh old buddy.. i’m sorri.. *cuts life support*”
“dang.. thats the 55th time i hav to stitch all the errors i made in him ”
“wait.. aint he a girl?.. i guess i’ve came into teh wrong room.. heh ma bad ”
“lets put a dead animal in him ”
“hello.. i’m from banglapor india.. this is my first time visiting here.. so hav some confidence in me.. as this is my first ever surgery.. but dun worri. i did not fail my theory. ”
“u know the difference btw u and mi is that i’m the doc.. while ur not.. *raise hand holding knife ”
“i wish i knew how to say this.. but i’m sorri.. u hav to leave….. *hang’s up phone* Oh Noes! we’re losing him! ”
“who would hav tot that i’m in this room.. doing practical surgery ”
“lets remove his nipples and see how he look like ”
“with this new breast implants.. i dun see why i’m not getting a hard on ”
“hey u mind holding this.. thx ”
“coconuts.. makes mi.. super horny..”
organ + electric wires = ?
What should i do, i’ve just squirted BCG vaccine in my eye, do i need to wash it out with warm water?
(Woman Doctor) Ohhh i’ve never seen this before…so long…so…i’ll take it home.
“ooo knife and a body…ahh the good old days….”
“its nice to learn to juggle with knifes..only from 1 lesson”
“ahh nice to come back from the toilet. did i wash my gloves? o well…”
“It was an autopsy right ?”
“Going to toilet, be a.s.a.p”
“Fire in the hole !!!”
“Nurse, put his penis back on the table, right now !”
“Yes i did this before, And one time, in a bandcamp…..”
62: “I hope you can respawn!”
“Silence of the lambs was my favourite movie”
“Oops, I thought this was suppose to be the workshop!”
“Hey, you’re ticking!”
Doc 1:”All right, all done.” Doc 2:”Wait a second, then what’s that bloody meat chunk doing here?”
“What do you meen ‘what’s the meat cleaver for’? It’s the slaughterhouse, right?
“Hmm…. I don’t think his lounges should stick out that way..”
“What are you doing?! You’re stepping on the bowel, you idiot!”
“Here me O Great One, I bring this timely sacrifice to satisfy thy hunger!”
“Funny, the heart ain’t pumping anymore.”
“Well, did you bring body bags?”
“Uh… Where does this go?”
“Don’t worry, this won’t hurt…. much…. Ha-Ha-Ha!!!”
“Hey, have you SEEN the EYES?”
“What?! This ain’t anashtaesic, this is VODKA!!!”
“*Yawn*… Dude, I feel kinda tired… ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzzz…..”
“I’m bored. Hey! I got an idea! Let’s play Brainball!!”
“Oh well. Let’s make it quick!”
“Hey! why is his chest vibrating? Oh well, I guess it’s normal. Anyway, You seen my phone?”
“Hey! Can I take this as a souvenir?”
“Wow! Look what happens when I bounce it on the wall! That green line seems to jump funnilly everytime!”
“Alright, prepare the Biomechanical parts for installation.”
“He He!! HOO HOO HOO!!! I think I took too much of those!!!”
What is that equipment doing there in your stomach?
BOOM!!
Wts that smell?! Looks like some1 needs a new diper..
Look kidz: It’s a pinniata.. [kidz]: Let’s get him boys
Let’s fill her boobs with air, see if it blows up like a party baloon.
This reminds me of when i was in prison…
Let’s fill him with gasoline and light it.. see what happenes..
Okay, she’s asleep. NURSE! Bring in the first customer..last customer..I must be the greatest pimp of all times.. mwhahaha…okay wake her up now!
Hey, look i can put my head in2 it
Hey , what with this teddy bear in there?
“Well, i guess that’s why they’re called eye-BALLS!!”
“Looks delicious”
“Do you mind if I borrow this?”
“Hey, look what happens where i press that thing!”
“Prepare the testicle-removal equipment!”.
“Duck tape can fix anything right?”
“Look no hands!”
“Lets set a new speed record!”
“Wait… This is a guy?!”
“Is that supposed to move like that?”
I’mma Fart on Ur FACE NiggA!
“Oh…he said the LEFT arm…”
“Ouch, that gotta hurt!”
“gakyuuka tenson pieter nojutsu!!”
“my son needs a new kidney…hmmm yes…I think I found one….muhahahaaahh..”
“Jesus! spongebob! ”
Wait a minute… I’m a doctor?
Is it good when the guy can’t breath?
What do you mean!… I can’t do that!
Ohhhh, I can’t poop in it?
Hand me that tier repair kit!
Where is my cell phone!
You didn’t have a wallet when you got here!
Brb I’m going to go post on ragezone about this.
Look, I am so good, I am going to change his heart with my eyes closed.
Is that a tapeworm?
I can’t stop the bleeding! Oh well, I guess i’ll just have to use a chewing gum.
I’m a magician. Look, I’ll cut him in half, and he’ll still be alive, I hope.
Look I can use his spin as a whip!
Alright I’ll take his heart and put this rock in there, Will that still work?
This is to hard, Let’s give him to the vet maybe they can fix it.
Quick while hes still sleeping get his wallet.
What’s my dog doing in here?!
I’m not cut out to be a doctor, I’ve messed up 530 times!
hey lets use his intestines for a skipping rope 
Nurse: Whoooa… If I were you I wouldnt do this…
“Were did that finger go?”
“How long do we have left before he’s dead?”
“I’m sure that we’re surpose to add that in later.”
“Where abouts is his heart?”
“Woo, your **** is small”
“Have you got a shaggy *****”
i know i had to pee before we went in but now i dont
anyone seen that needle we used to test that guy for aids?
what do you mean nurse???? what do you mean he wasnt the one that wanted a sex change!
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